the lies we keep

Lately, the liars are everywhere. I had to ask, am I one of them? Or do i just lie to myself?

We tell ourselves
it’s not that bad,
the job, the drink, the person
who stopped looking us in the eye
three years ago.

We say we’re fine.
We say we’ll quit.
We say next week,
next time,
next lifetime.

We hang promises like air fresheners
on the rearview mirror of our wreckage.
Lie after lie,
until they smell like truth.

We say we’re good people
as we scroll past suffering.
We say we’re chasing dreams
but we haven’t run in years.

We say we’re in love
because we’re afraid of loneliness.
We stay
because leaving would mean starting over
and we don’t know who we are without the damage.

We tell ourselves it’s all under control
as we spiral politely,
with a smile,
with good posture.

We lie to survive.
Then we forget
we were ever supposed to live.